"We thought it was a pneumatics conference," Says Disappointed Union of Mechanics
Disappointment and dismay marked the inauspicious beginning of Torrey Conference this week, as U.C.M.S. (the Union of California Mechanics, South) was harshly turned away from admission to the 2017 Biola Torrey Conference, entitled “Pneuma.” Reports indicate that the band of some 40-50 mechanics believed the conference was relevant to their profession. The chief issue in all the confusion seems to stem from the name itself.
“As a Mechanic, I’m always trying to grow and get better at my job you know?” Says Gavin Phipps, a local Mechanic from La Habra.
When the Bells inquired as to what drew him to Torrey conference in the first place Phipps had this to say, “Pneumatics is something I feel I need some improvement in, so I figured it’s past time I went to the conference. I don’t understand why a Bible conference would call itself that.”
Sullen and smelling of axle grease, the disappointed men congregated at a local Norms Diner in Whittier to discuss their malaise and try to sort out what went wrong.
“I think it’s the posters,” Says Jack Collins, a bearded and stocky gentleman whose hands leave oil stains on the porcelain mug he sips his black coffee from.
“They just say Pneuma! They make no mention of the Holy Spirit! As anybody with half a brain knows, Pneumatology is the study of the Holy Spirit, but Pneuma? That’s just a greek root!”
“I agree!” chimed in Mick Ramirez, as he cleaned the corrosion off of a spark plug, “The Greek root is used in too many things to just slap it on a poster and expect us to know what it’s talking about! I mean you got Pneumatics, Pneumatology, Pneumonia...”
At this point in the interview my car broke down and they helped me give it a jump start, but it turned out my steering needed alignment, and my timing belt needed to be replaced, and that screaming noise my car was making was the sound of my rear interchange about ready to come apart on the 5 at 65 miles an hour. After about $600 later, I realized the importance of specificity in advertising, and also that if you let little auto problems go long enough they pile up into big ones.
