CYBERTERRORIST ALERT: Jeff from Biola

cy·ber·ter·ror·ism

ˌsībərˈterərizəm/

noun

the politically motivated use of computers and information technology to cause severe disruption or widespread fear in society.

After a virtual onslaught of unsettling emails from Jeff, the people deserve to know what is really going on. Who is "Jeff," and is he REALLY from Biola? The answer may shock you!

"Jeff" has recently sent multiple emails suspiciously targeting students of Biola University. These emails claim to outline new registration practices for upcoming years at Biola, but do not be deceived! They are nothing but thinly veiled phishing schemes originating from some devious foreign country, most likely Russia. Do not trust his charming grin or warm brown eyes! These are tricks of the enemy.

"...For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7

An interview with undeclared senior David Jacobson exposed the widespread fear caused by this, Biola's most insidious security breach to date.

"The first email severely disrupted my day. The very fact that he had to explain to me that he was from Biola made me wonder, where is this guy from? This can't be right. I opened the email and immediately thought, 'I've made a huge mistake.' The next two experiences with Jeff went much the same way."

So in the future, look out for "Jeff's" wily efforts to infiltrate your email and personal information!

Biola's IT Manager J. Silzer warns students against opening any attempt at contact from individuals who put forth an artificial guise of familiarity by using first names and what he describes as "creepily friendly head shots."