REPORT: The Pictures of Eyes Hanging From the Trees Actually Windows to a Parallel Dimension

In what is perhaps the most shocking news from Torrey Conference so far, The Bells has been told that the pictures of eyes hanging from the trees surrounding Metzger Lawn are actually students who have been captured and magically put inside those little rectangles.

“We got word that we wouldn’t have enough seats to hold as many students as were projected to show up, so we had to think on the fly,” said event services employee Trent McAfee. “We thought that using modern science to transport them into a parallel universe and open it up so that only their eyes were exposed would be the best option.”

The effort surely accomplished its purpose, as many more students were able to attend because of this interesting method. The science behind it is very simple. The students were put into a machine and teleported to a parallel world, and then several small portals were opened to ensure the students could see.

The moral and ethical consequences of such an action are unknown at this time, since this is a highly experimental procedure.

“I don’t know why they put me in charge of this project,” said a panicked second-year physics major Brandon Donaldson. “I don’t even know for sure if I can get them back. This is really bad.”

“I was in a parallel universe the whole time and that artist spray painting during the session was still the weirdest thing I saw,” said captured student Michael Wilson.

The Bells will update you as this situation develops.