Eagles Released in Gym With United State's Flag

In a somewhat tacky display of both national pride and school spirit, a midsize flock of bald eagles appeared in the gym as the USA flag ran around the gym during the parade of nations. This was not a planned part of the flag procession. Clayton Smith, a sophomore, brought his personal collection of 15 majestic eagles and has been hiding them in his Hope South dorm room, waiting for this day.

Clayton was promptly escorted to the ResLife office, because it is a violation of policy to keep eagles in a dorm room. The eagles, which seemed to be confused about being in a gymnasium, quickly found the exits and flew away, off into the sunset to enjoy their American freedom.

We salute Smith for his unwavering patriotism and it is a shame that ResLife hates America and her many freedoms.