Missions Conference Results: Flu Spreading Faster Than Gospel

UNSEEN REALM - After three days of close contact between hundreds of students, the stomach flu, and the Gospel, we are ready to report a clear victor: the flu.

“I mean, I think the students were definitely inspired by the conference to witness to others about the Gospel, which will really further the Kingdom of God, so it was a good deal for everyone. But the best part for sure was that I gained like 30 new hosts, and counting!” said Influenza.

Outcomes are projected to change in the near future, though, as the flu is expected to last two weeks at best, and the Kingdom is everlasting. Enjoy it while you can, Influenza (or as we like to call it, Senior Crappy!)